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At TeamSnap, we have a little different style to the way we do things. You may have noticed that TeamSnap experienced a few outages Dec. 1 and 2. Here’s the way Systems Operations Lead Mark Cornick chose to recap the situation to the rest of the team.
Our always handy Ops Team is pictured here — (from left) Mark Cornick, Jasna Benčić, Tim “Sweetums” Soderstrom and Geoff Brodniak.
FADE IN: INT. NETWORK OPERATIONS CENTER - DAY Operations staff: the EXECUTIVE OFFICER, a former submariner with exotic hair; the LIEUTENANT DATABASE GRADE, a bespectacled man; and the CHIEF NON-COMMISSIONED OFFICER, an Eastern European woman, are seated at their desks. Large displays show what appears to be a healthy network. The COMMANDER, a large, bearded gentleman, enters. COMMANDER Good morning crew. Status reports, please. The CHIEF N.C.O. stands to deliver her report. CHIEF N.C.O. Mostly small requests from throughout the organization, Commander. Also taking this opportunity to learn the Sinatra framework. COMMANDER Thank you, Chief. XO? The EXECUTIVE OFFICER turns from observing the status displays to address the COMMANDER. EXECUTIVE OFFICER A short and quiet week. The Thumper system is now running on our playroom environment. We've also adjusted the McFeely and Dozer processes. COMMANDER Excellent. Where do we stand on the-- A loud siren blares. Status displays turn red. A robotic voice announces a malfunction. ROBOTIC VOICE (V.O.) Major outage detected. Major outage detected. COMMANDER (urgently) Action stations! Action stations! Set condition one throughout the company. The COMMANDER moves to an impressive-looking chair. The CHIEF N.C.O. returns to her desk. The EXECUTIVE OFFICER and LIEUTENANT, still at their desks, turn to face the status displays. COMMANDER Lieutenant, sitrep! LIEUTENANT Appears to be a Distributed Denial of Service attack against our allies at DNSCorp, sir. Recommend we execute contingency plan D-R-S. COMMANDER Are we prepared to move forward with D-R-S? Last report was that the service was provisioned but data was not yet populated. CHIEF N.C.O. Correct. D-R-S contains no data, Commander. EXECUTIVE OFFICER And with DNSCorp out of commission, we can't retrieve our complete data set. We could assemble a provisional data set from other sources. COMMANDER OK. (frenetically) We'll do it live! The COMMANDER picks up a microphone and addresses the entire organization: COMMANDER This is the commander. We are experiencing collateral damage from an attack on one of our technology partners. The operations team will now execute a contingency plan. Further information will follow. Out. The COMMANDER, CHIEF N.C.O., EXECUTIVE OFFICER and LIEUTENANT all type madly at keyboards, assembling a set of data. COMMANDER Are we ready to proceed with D-R-S? LIEUTENANT We're ready, sir. Provisional data set is assembled and loaded. CHIEF N.C.O. Systems are ready. EXECUTIVE OFFICER We will proceed on your mark. COMMANDER (dramatically) Execute contingency plan D-R-S. All press various keys on their keyboards. Within a few minutes, the status displays start to turn from red to orange. The SUPPORT CAPTAIN, a woman wearing official uniform pajamas, enters. SUPPORT CAPTAIN What's the situation, Commander? COMMANDER We have executed our contingency plan, Captain. We expect to be back in full operation within a few hours. Please monitor from your perspective and report back with problems. SUPPORT CAPTAIN Excellent. Thank you. As you were! The SUPPORT CAPTAIN exits. COMMANDER Where were we... Lietuenant, status report from the database project? LIEUTENANT Status good. Database server RDB-1 has taken over and we have deprovisioned server MDB-2. And the Virtual Private Network is now running with X-509 certificates. COMMANDER Outstanding. Great work, team. Now let's move on to-- The ROBOTIC VOICE pipes up again. ROBOTIC VOICE (V.O.) Major outage detected. Major outage detected. The COMMANDER sighs. FADE OUT